Hey guys! Welcome back to another edition of my thoughts! For you first time visitors, I’m Dareece, a wedding hairstylist based in Durham, NC. I’m often asked what are some of the behind the scenes happenings at the weddings I work. So I came here today to spill the tea give you a glimpse into what I’ve seen over the years, from bridezillas to navigating crazy family dynamics on wedding days and everything in between.
Q: Can you remember your first wedding?
A: Yes!! It was 2018 and I was working in a salon in Durham, NC. One of my regular cut and color clients was getting married and asked if anyone did wedding hair. I told her I did, because I had done a bride before at her hotel through my first salon. Plus, I was heavy into editorial hair at the time and had taken several classes in addition to styling hair at fashion shows. I didn’t know much about on location weddings at that time, other than going to a hotel room for one person, but I was about to find out! My first wedding with multiple people was in Durham, NC at the The Cotton Room. I was kind of nervous because I didn’t know what to expect, but I had a fully stocked kit and years of training so I felt prepared. When I stepped inside, I was shown to the dedicated area where my bride, Ashley, was getting ready with her friends and family. I was relieved to see her because I was kinda nervous! I set up my work area and began the first person who was on my schedule to get their hair styled. I ended up touching up a few people not on the list and got lost in hair at some point! I was just helping and not keeping track of how many people I was doing. The bride asked me at the end how many people I did so she could pay me accordingly and I was like…”uh…I don’t know”. It was a good sized, multicultural bridal party with various textures of hair, but not overwhelming. I curled, braided, sprayed, and prayed everything would last all day. It was a good experience and I learned a lot. I walked away happy that I got my hair styling fix met and made some nice coins in the process. That was the beginning of my love story with weddings as a wedding hairstylist.
Q: Have you ever had any bridezillas?
A: Lol! This is a question that I get asked often! I’ve not had any bridezillas(knocking on wood as I type this)!! BUT, I have had a couple of brides who I’ve had to turn away after their bridal hair trial because I saw it was not a good fit. One bride, I styled her hair in three different styles at her hair trial, installed hair extensions, and worked with her for over two hours. She told me she loved all three hairstyles. However, that evening, she texted me saying she didn’t love any of them after all and asked if we could do something different on wedding day. It was at that point that I knew I would never make her happy, not because of my skill level, but because of something deeper within her that hairstyling wouldn’t fix. I later learned she went through two other wedding hairstylists and ultimately had a family member do her hair on wedding day, which she didn’t love either! It’s like this feeling I get when someone’s energy lets me know if this is going to work or not. No, I’m not psychic!! I can just tell when it’s not a good fit. I have a pretty calm and chill personality, so if I feel something is off, then it’s off!!
Q: What’s a wedding day you’ll always remember?
A: Even though I’ve styled numerous brides at this point, I feel like I still remember parts of all of their weddings! There are a few that stand out though. The most fun wedding was with a bride at The Carolina Grove. She was a last minute booking because her original hairstylist canceled on her one month prior to her wedding day. I’m still in shock that this happens to many brides, but that is a story for another day. This bride and I first met on her wedding day, no hair trial, no face time, nothing. All I had was a picture of her hairstyle from the session with the first hairstylist and a few text messages to go off of. But she was so cool and fun to talk with when we finally met! We learned quite a bit about each other and had quiet moments so she could focus on writing tasks or just sit in silence before this next step in her life journey. She had a bridal party that was doing their own hair and makeup. It was a good day. The saddest moment I had at a wedding was when one of my brides was in tears about an uncontrollable, traumatic family issue that happened on her wedding day. I’ll never forget that. I could feel the sadness as she cried off and on throughout my time there. All I could do was hug her when I saw her and be a listening ear. I hated that that happened on her wedding day and was so upset with her. I was ready to ride at dawn for her!!
FUN FACTS
The most ladies I’ve styled in one day is 11.
Sarah is the most popular name of my brides, followed by the name Hannah.
The furthest I’ve driven for a bride is to Mount Airy, NC.
My first out of state wedding was in Virginia.
The Parlour at Manns Chapel is my favorite venue to work at.
My favorite hairstyle request is a low bun with a braid.
My least favorite hairstyle request is half up.
Q:Are you ever nervous?
A: Hell yeah, I’m nervous every single time!! Lol!! I don’t want to get logistics mixed up or mess up my bride’s hair for her wedding day. EVER. I set an earlier than necessary alarm to give myself enough time to get ready without rushing. Even though I set this alarm, I still wake up before it goes off, I guess because of nervous energy. I double check and repack my kit days before the wedding and then recheck it the day before the wedding. I leave my house early so I can get to the getting ready location with time to spare, in case of traffic. I sit outside in my car until it’s time to go in and set up. I never know what I’m walking into on wedding days. There may be tension because something has gone left field and the bride is upset. The bride may be sleepy from a late night rehearsal dinner the day before. The bride may be hung over a bit because she had too much to drink the night before. She may be happy and excited when I walk in. She may be nervous and literally sick from nerves. She may be irritated because her family is doing too much. There’s no telling!! I’ve seen it all. So I’m a bit nervous until I’m in there, see the layout, and speak to my bride to learn how she’s feeling. Once I have an idea, if there’s anything I can do to help, I’ll offer that. If not, I just become an empathetic listening ear with calm vibes. I set up my work area and go to work. I am not at full ease until the bride’s hair is done and she’s confirmed that she’s happy with it. Yet, after the wedding, I think about her hair until the end of the night, praying that it holds up, even though I’ve pinned it securely. I guess it’s just the OCD in me sometimes.
Q: is there anything you’ll never do again on a wedding day?
Take on two weddings in one day. Okay, this is the catalyst for how and why I scaled down to small, intimate bridal parties and one wedding per day. On May 11, 2024, I had two weddings booked. The first was in the early morning in Wake Forest, NC which was almost an hour away from home at the time. The group was a bride and four bridal party members, five people total. It was a chill, easy going group and they were getting ready in the bride’s home. When I finished everyone, I then drove from Wake Forest to a hotel in Greensboro, NC to do another wedding. This took about two hours of drive time. It would’ve made sense for me to eat during this drive so I could have the energy necessary for the next group. That didn’t happen. I cut it too close with time. The second group was originally supposed to be 4-5 ladies, all wedding guests, no bride. However, the bride was added on last minute a few days before the wedding. OK, no sweat…I now had six women on the schedule for the 2nd wedding. So I arrive to the hotel, set up and start working. When I tell you I was exhausted by the time I got to person number 3!!! It was the grace of God that I was able to keep going. When I finally got to the bride, I found out it wasn’t just a hairstyle only. She is Indian and Muslim faith. I had to first style her beautiful, long, thick hair into a bun, ensuring her bun was sleek as requested. Then I needed to add strings of small flowers to cover the whole bun. The flowers smelled AMAZING!! I thought I was done then. Haha, that was not it! I now had to secure a mesh cover over all of her hair. I was so sad at this point because her hair and the flowers were gorgeous, but I understood it was for religious purposes. Once the mesh cover was secured, I then needed to help attach a heavy, beautiful, intricately beaded, long Indian style veil, a Dupatta, to her hair and clothes. I felt honored to be able to help her in this way. She looked stunning when everything was finished. When I finished with her, I was beyond tired: the early morning start, a three hour drive, the lack of food, and styling nine people so far. I was over hair in that moment!! BUT, I still had two more ladies to style after the bride. Somehow I did it!! OMG!! I think I passed out and my spirit animal took over to style those last two women!! Haha!! I don’t know but it got done. I was so grateful in that moment. I packed up and went to my car and sat for half an hour thinking about my life choices. I remember texting my then fiance, now husband, that I would NEVER do two weddings in one day again. I don’t care if they’re both paying me a million dollars a piece…well…wait…if it’s a million dollars per wedding, let’s look at the logistics!! Lol.
How Do You Decompress after A wedding?
I normally get something to eat. Depending on how the vibes were at the wedding day, that will help me decide my next step. If it was a great day, great energy, then I get something to eat. If I’m in or near Durham, I’ll drop my kit off at my studio. Then go home and watch tv or read. If it was a particularly stressful wedding day, I’m going straight to Chick Fil A so I don’t have to worry about food quality. I’ll find a nearby parking lot that is surrounded by trees and look out at nature while I eat. I think about life, the events of the day and if there was anything I could have done differently to be better prepared for the next one. I’ll call my cousin sometimes to vent or I’ll journal my feelings. Other times I do yoga if my body is hurting or take a long shower. My husband and I may share a drink when he gets home and we’ll talk about our day.
What’s your favorite part of the wedding morning?
Seeing everything set up before the bride gets there. It’s something about seeing a venue come to life or seeing people set up chairs outside in anticipation of guests and family. Talking with the bride is another favorite because I like to know how she’s feeling and make sure she’s ok. I pay attention to the interactions between her and the people there with her. If she’s nervous or upset about something, I give her space to sit with her thoughts. If she feels like talking, we’ll talk and laugh. Almost all of my brides say my gentleness with their hair helps them to feel more calm. I love hearing that! The playlists are always on point! I hear so many songs, many that I love or have heard before. Everybody gets excited about particular songs and it’s good to see everyone in good spirits. Depending on time, I may get to see the bride completely finished with hair, makeup and dressed which is fun. I don’t always get to see the final full picture, so I’m happy when I see everything come together nicely for her and she’s looking and feeling happy as well. Last but not least: the food spread!!! OMG! The food on wedding mornings is sooo good. It’s normally breakfast or brunch food, which I love! I discovered that Wegmans makes this wonderful quiche that some of my brides offer to me, along with fresh fruit, pastries, water, juice, cookies, etc. It’s always nice when a bride or her family shares that with me and insists I take something.
is there anything you would change about the wedding industry?
I would change the wastefulness of weddings. Single use, disposable items like individual menus, save the dates, signage, etc has such a tremendous impact on the earth. Brides buying cheap, multiple bridal outfits on Shein and throwing them away afterwards is unreal. Let’s not forget the waste of food at the end of the night. Anyone that knows me is aware of my love for nature and the care I have for the environment. I just feel like we could take a more proactive step towards using multi-use items, such as one menu written on a chalkboard in beautiful calligraphy, emailed save the dates, real napkins, buying quality bridal outfits secondhand.
Another thing I would change is the huge production event that some weddings have become where it’s not even about the couple and their families coming together, but more about throwing the biggest, craziest party ever. And while I get that this is a celebratory occasion, there is also an intimate and meaningful thing happening: two souls found each other out of the 8+ billion people on this planet, they fell in love with each other and decided to permanently intertwine their lives together. Finding that level of intimacy is beautiful and profound. I just feel like it should be celebrated in “that” way, not an all you can drink fest. That’s just me. Social media, keeping up with the Jones’, living beyond our means has people out here doing things they wouldn’t normally do if there was no where to post about it. I think we should focus on the important.
Where’s the coolest Place you’ve ever traveled for a wedding?
The most memorable place that I traveled to for a wedding was on a farm in a country/rural part of somewhere in North Carolina. I cannot remember the name of the venue for the life of me!!! But the venue was down a long gravel road in the woods. It was an early November morning so it was kinda chilly and the sun was still coming up. While driving through the woods, there was a huge field of tall grass/foliage to the right of the gravel driveway that had a huge layer of smoky fog or mist just on top of the tall grass. It was so beautiful, mysterious and ethereal. I wish I would’ve taken a picture, but it’s one of those experiences where you cannot capture it properly in a photograph. I love nature so I pay more attention to the outdoors of the venue most times. I had a bride in Mount Airy last year and the drive to her venue was just beautiful. It was the end of October and the leaves were in the midst of changing colors. I traveled through small mountain areas to get there, with unbelievable scenery along the way. The prettiest venue I’ve worked in is The Merrimon Wynne House in Raleigh, NC. It’s an 1800’s historic mansion in the center of downtown Raleigh. It’s absolutely beautiful inside and it transports you back to a previous era of time, yet still houses all of the modern day amenities we enjoy today.
What’s Your biggest pet peeve when styling wedding hair?
Dirty hair. I’m talking either super oily: no-products-will-alleviate-this-you-need-to-wash-your-hair-oily or super dry: your-hair-has-buildup-crust-and-a-funky-formaldehyde-smell because you haven’t washed it in so long. I get it that people are busy, especially closer to the wedding day with all the events. But if you don’t do anything else, make sure to wash your hair!!! OMG! I even offer my brides a shampoo and blowout the day before so we can have clean hair on wedding day and it’s one less thing for them to worry about. This also gives brides a chance to slow down and relax before the big day. I can style hair well but if your hair is extremely dirty, no amount of styling products will counteract that. Unrealistic expectations would be a close second. If you have super thin hair but your inspo pic shows someone with thick, luscious hair, it’s not happening for you unless you have extensions. And even then, there are no guarantees it would turn out like that. If your hair texture is completely different than the inspo picture and we only have 45 minutes to do your hair, that’s not going to come out the way you want. I’m just saying…
What do you want brides to know when it comes to their wedding day hair?
Take the time to find a hairstyle that works with your hair texture. Take the time to find a wedding hairstylist who can work with your hair texture. Don’t settle or search based on who is the cheapest. Search for a high quality professional who can deliver top quality results. Because when you think about it, you will hire a photographer to capture your wedding day moments. One of the main components in the photos will be your hair, outfit and makeup. Oh and your spouse too!! Lol!! You want to look back at these pictures years from now and love the way everything looks, including your hair. You want to look and feel good on your wedding day. I cannot stress this enough. I want you to invest wisely in a positive experience for yourself. If you are newly engaged, getting married in North Carolina, desire a romantic hairstyle for your textured hair and are just starting your bridal hairstylist search, fill out my inquiry form or send me a text! I’d be happy to help you find a wedding hairstyle that works perfectly for you, your hair texture, dress style, venue vibes, etc. I look forward to hearing from you!