Why I Turn Brides Away As a Wedding Day Hairstylist
Have you ever heard the phrase: “You’re not for everybody”? Well, that is my business philosophy as a wedding day hairstylist in Durham, North carolina. I’m not meant for every bride that comes my way and vice versa. But why would I turn away brides??! Especially if I love styling bridal hair. Let me explain how I determine that some brides are just not a good fit…
personality
This is probably the main factor that determines if me and a potential bride will mesh well together. During the inquiry process where we’re feeling each other out, I notice the simple interactions. Are they pleasant to talk with and considerate, or are they demanding, pushy and impatient? It may not seem that serious because we’re only working together for a few months to maybe a year. Yet, there are many interactions with each other over that time period to discuss adding guests to the timeline, getting ready location changes, possible adjustments to their hairstyle after the bridal hair trial, family dynamics on the day of the wedding, and the list goes on. I want to work with people who are pleasant and kind. Why wouldn’t I??! This is a high pressure, sometimes stressful, occupation. I need brides who are understanding, compassionate, and have good energy. These are the brides that care enough to ask if I need water, time to sit, or something to eat(I almost always say no!! I don’t know why. I need to get it together lol). It goes a long way towards making me feel cared for as a person.
Finances
Now, we all can get a bit sensitive about our coins from time to time. We may look at something as too expensive for us if it’s not that important to us or we don’t see the value in it. However, if there is something that we truly love, want or think it will enhance our lives in a meaningful way, we will pay whatever we can to have it. We’ll find a way!! So when I come across brides who don’t see the value in what I provide or don’t think they really need a wedding day hairstylist, then it’s time to part ways because they’re not going to respect my work, won’t pay what I ask and will look for the cheapest option available. And there’s nothing wrong with them not sharing the same vision as me. We’re all different people. I just know what I bring to the table and my work is worth what I am charging. Period. I bring a different experience to the bridal hair world, by presenting a calmer way of doing things. Allowing the bride to not feel pressured at any point of our work time together is highly important to me. Not only that, I maintain my hair styling education, use systems to facilitate an easier way of booking, I pack only professional grade hair products in my kit. Anything I can do to help my bride, I will do, as long as it’s legal!! All hair textures are welcome in my chair, which is not a common find in the wedding hair world or let alone the hair industry. I offer high end, premium hair accessories for my brides to experiment with and if they need to save money in some areas in order to afford my hairstyling services then I share my secrets to saving with them. It’s like Ramit Sethi said in his book, I Will Teach You To Be Rich, pay for the things that matter to you most and ruthlessly save on the things that do not. If you’re coming to me wanting me to do your hair, you must first have the mindset that your bridal hairstyle matters to you and this is an investment in you achieving the desired look you want, on your hair texture, that holds all night, while I am being a calm presence in the background during a probably highly stressful and emotional time of your life.
Timeline Schedules
Ok this one may seem weird because I reserve the bride’s entire day just for her. That means if her timeline changes up or down an hour or whatever, it’s ok. I’m not rushing off to do another wedding or showing up burned out because I just left a wedding with five people and then drove over an hour to your wedding where you have six ladies waiting for me to do their hair…ask me about this personal story when you come in for your hair trial! Lol. Having said that, if your wedding day timeline has me starting at 5 am and I need to drive 2-3 hours to get to you, then this is a no go for me. I’m cool with a 5 am start time if you are in Durham NC, within a 30 drive or will invest in me staying overnight to be able to start at that time. I just cannot skip sleep, or only get 2 hours of sleep, for a bride. I love y’all to death. Please know I do!! I don’t want to jeopardize the outcome of your bridal hairstyle because I’m so sleepy and cannot function. Me + hot tools + no sleep = bad idea! Now, night time and I are great friends, so if you’re getting married in the evening or having a late night ceremony under the stars, yes ma’am!! I’m there!!
unrealistic expectations
Let’s be real for a minute…the hairstyle that I create is 50% of your hair on it’s own and 50% of my technical skills. If you have extremely damaged, broken hair, I can only do so much before we need to talk about other options such as clip in hair extensions or a completely different style altogether. Really, we need to be talking about what’s going on in your life, consistent deep conditioning treatments and a hair cut, but that’s another story…If you have really thin hair and want a full, thick looking blowout, we need to have a heart to heart. As a wedding day hairstylist, I have seen my share of women who’ve had unrealistic expectations for their hair type. Yes, I embrace all hair textures, so it’s not me shunning anyone. It’s when what you want is a completely different head of hair. Having curly hair and wanting a curly hairstyle, but you cringe at your curls, then there is nothing I can do for you. That’s a deep down inside you problem that you have to handle. If you hate your hair, girl, I can’t help you with that. I love all hair, so it pains me to hear a woman say that about her own hair. When I come across these brides, I know that no matter what I do, it’s not going to be good enough for them. And then we’re both disappointed. Nobody wants that.
These are just a few things to came to mind about why I turn some brides away as a wedding day hairstylist. What about you? What do you do and what are your non-negotiables at work?